I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize