At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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