i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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