this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
