some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You need Xanax blowdarts
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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