Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
