I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
