Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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