He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Are my feet made of real feet?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
