great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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