My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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