Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
