You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This is my gift to your gina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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