there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This house was built for laser tag.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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