Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
