What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
