I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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