North Korea, Best Korea!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
