Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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