Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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