Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
