who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just google imaged poop.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
