Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
