halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
