it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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