The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
