i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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