He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
