For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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