i think i have two assholes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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