I think scott just propositioned me for sex
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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