whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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