Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We left the knife in your bed.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
