Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
