suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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