All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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