piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
