All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize