Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
