The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
