You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
