To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
