So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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