smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
