I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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