The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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