i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
