I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
