There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
birth control should be required to get into college
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
