if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have grass duct taped all over my body
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
