Me too!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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