Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
