He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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