Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize