I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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