If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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