Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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