You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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