Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
