i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
