I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
