So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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