That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
