His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
