she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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