Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
